Navigating Festival Changes and Personal Loss

Festivals And Gatherings, Fire Keeping 2 Minutes

I have been debating this post for a few days, not sure how to put into words my feelings. As this festival season was ramping up and looking to be in the clear and a strong possibility of happening I was myself getting amped. Pulling out the drums, checking fest gear, getting set to book holidays. Looking forward to seeing old friends and planning. This would be my second year on staff of a long running festival. Albeit there were many who believed I was staff since around 2011ish this was not the case.

The last three years have been tough with the suicide of a friend, moving, quitting a job of seven years. Moving in with friends for a year and having that friendship go sideways after i moved out continuing my journey. Dealing with the fall out of that. Then the unexpected death of an old friend. And fucking Covid for the last two damn years. All the while doing the “just keep swimming” thing, trying to keep my head above water and just keep moving forward.

So on to a few days ago, the first post regarding staff meeting for the festival. Sweet!!! there was the standard when should we have it poll. I responded to that thinking we possibly should have more than one as the unexpected death I mentioned earlier was a person who for many many years was an integral part of said festival. Two or so hours past no further commentary, then I receive a message advising me that I have been removed from staff, and the staff group by the festival hosts.

No precursor ‘hey how are you doing’ … ‘what have you been up to?’ First time I have heard from them in months (November to be exact). Apparently I was deemed “not a team player” and “not a good fit.” And this is hilarious as the last time I was there they were having electrical issues, at which time I offered knowledge on the source of said issue, as well as provided answers and suggestions on others.

So for those who may look for me in that familiar role as a fire keeper this year, sadly, that will not be. I wish all the staff there the best, exit stage left.

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Published by Lugh Sulian

Lugh Sulian Standing on the Ledge · Rebuilding from the Rubble Lugh Sulian is a working name for a working moment. This profile exists to hold Standing on the Ledge: Rebuilding from the Rubble—an ongoing, real-time record of what happens after collapse, when old rules stop functioning and new ones haven’t yet earned trust. This is not myth reenactment. Not spiritual bypass. Not curated healing. It’s a field journal from the threshold. The name Lugh points toward skill, clarity, and responsibility carried with awareness. Sulian gestures toward sight—what can be seen when illusion drops away and pretending becomes too expensive. Together, they frame the posture of this work: to look clearly, act deliberately, and refuse to rebuild what already failed. Through short-form video, spoken reflection, and long-form writing, this project explores: Collapse without spectacle Responsibility without authority Burnout as a systems problem, not a personal flaw Pagan cycles as lived practice, not aesthetic Small fires instead of grand rebuilds This space is intentionally unfinished. It documents: Standing still without freezing Moving forward without rushing Learning from rubble instead of hiding it Unplugged-Pagan.com serves as the grounding—seasonal awareness, ritual stripped of performance, and meaning built from experience rather than doctrine. Standing on the Ledge is one expression of that grounding, focused on the human cost of broken systems and the slow work of rebuilding integrity. This is not a teaching platform. It’s a shared watchpost. If you’re here, you’re likely between versions of yourself—tired, alert, uncertain, and still standing. You don’t need answers yet. You need honesty, boundaries, and permission to move at the speed of truth. No conclusions offered. No certainty promised. Still on the ledge. Still watching. Still working the rubble. Godspeed. Optional Short Versions (for profile headers or bios) Short bio (Facebook / site header): Threshold work. Pagan-rooted, process-driven. Documenting collapse, clarity, and the refusal to rebuild what failed.

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