written Sept 7, 2018 and I cannot write anymore… and due to muddled brain SEQUENCE MAY NOT BE EXACT.
“Ok so you think I am fine. Caution for what you are about to read.
Almost three weeks ago, was it really that long?, I walk up to the house to find Brendan bolting out the front door. Him clearing the deck in what seemed to be two steps and quickly telling me to follow him speaking in a manner I have never seen him do before. I follow puzzled, all I could really make out of what he said was “Gypsy, car, now!!!!” I follow by the end of the driveway he tells me what is happening, hands me his phone and I dial 911.
Whilst giving information to them I could not believe how little “accurate” knowledge I had. Like your street address, the proper spelling of your legal name, your age. How stupid is that my friend? I knew you as long as most at the Knoll. I was one of two of the first people to meet you on this land. How can I not have known this? I helped you move into that house!
While on the phone with 911 I gave what information I could, they said they had the information they needed and were on the phone with MA as well. They advised us police were on the way, gave instruction on what not to do, asked for a number to reachg us back at if need be as it did not come up properly and I forgot I was not on my phone and gave my number not Brendans by mistake. Again how stupid was that!
We get to the house, truck is not visible…. rush to the door of the house.. it is locked. Brendan looks at me and says “Break down the door” I put my shoulder into it and hit it once … does not budge, a second time, it groaned third time success. I run through the house calling your name, flipping on lights and checking rooms. You are no where to be seen. I run outside and exlaim to Brendan “I can’t find him” as Brendan comes around from the back of the house indicating the truck is behind it.
At that moment one, then two and then a third cruiser shows up. AN officer comes up to us asking if we know where you are, Brendan points to the back of the house stating in the truck behind the house. We are instructed to stay where we are. They proceed to the back of the house.
I hear a clank on glass followed by a second, then glass shattering, then glass shattering twice more, a moment or two passes. An officer runs back to car and grabs medical pack and proceeds back to the truck. Another officer runs back to his cruiser and brings it to the back yard.
The first responder paramedic shows up, followed by the ambulance.
Over what seemed like 30 minutes the officers come by and ask questions, any known allergies, medications, medical conditions etc etc. They have not left yet. I look at Brendan. The realist in me kicks in I think I said something to the effect of “he is gone”. Brendan looked at me, replied “no if they have not left yet that is a good thing!” More time passes.
An officer walks by talking on his radio I hear “alright we need to notify next of kin” He looks over at us, I suppose we both had that question burned on our faces. He shakes his head. I recall looking at Brendan at that moment. Both our knees buckled a little.
Somewhere in all of this after knowing details through question and answers I walk into the kitchen of the house and see things on the counter that I paid no attention to earlier when I was there. Now my eyes cannot unsee them, my mind has conjured up images through the knowing and it will not forget.
AS we waited for the coroner to show up two of the three cruisers left to go speak with Juni. We chatted with the officer left on scene, the truck still illuminated, your body laying next to it. Another image burned into my brain that I will never unsee.”
Unplugged Pagan 